The Life Extraordinary

Related Posts Plugin for WordPress, Blogger...

I've moved!

Hello, all!

I've decided to switch from TypePad to WordPress because, well, because WordPress is the shit and TypePad isn't. Nothing against TypePad...it just doesn't allow me the freedom of design and functionality that WordPress does (you'll see what I mean when you go check out the new blog).

So.

For the past couple of weeks I've been posting exclusively over at www.kelseymcevoy.com. You can head over there to check out my most recent posts (it's still under construction, so please bear with me!), or you can stay here to browse through my archives.

One of the crappy things about TypePad is that they don't allow you to fully export/migrate whatever you have hosted by them to another host; while you can easily transport text, any images that are in a TypePad post WILL NOT transfer over in a migration. There are a couple of ways to get around this, but they are far too advanced for me to even attempt, let alone be successful at. So it will take a while but slowly and surely I will get all the content on this domain transferred over to the new one. 

Posted on 20 July 2012 at 06:48 | Permalink | Comments (0)

Reblog (0) | | | Pin It! |

man up, little girl...?

Emma

Last night I had this amazing plan to go to bed almost immediately after putting Emma down to sleep. See, the past week or so I've been uncharacteristically tired so I thought I'd make an effort to try the whole "get a full 7 to 8 hours of sleep" thing. Apparently getting all those hours of sleep is good for you. Who would've known? All this time I've been running on roughly 4 hours of sleep a night, sometimes less. Anyway.

Everything started off fine but soon enough (of course) Emma decided that everything was in fact not fine. After "bubbles" (Emma's word for bath time) I dried and diapered and dressed my little lady. Then I laid my ginger princess down in her comfy crib, tucked her and her stuffed animals in, and kissed them all "goodnight". I handed Emma her "milky" and left the room. And then it happened. Almost right away Emma started whining. And then she started wailing.

And as I contemplated when to go back in her room, or whether going back in was even a good idea, I wondered,

"At what point do we let our children's desires override basic tenants of parenting? When is it that we fold our hand and pass them the reins? How do those sneaky little buttheads do it? How do they take control?"

They don't accomplish it on their own, of course. They have plenty of help from easily manipulated accomplices --- us, the parents. That's right. Those parents we all hate --- the ones who dare to let their bratty, out-of-control Cretan-children run around with chocolate fingers and a chocolate face, demanding things from their hopeless parents via precisely perfected rounds of crying, tantrum-throwing, and sweet-talking --- are the ones we're slowly becoming! GASP!

When Emma was just a few weeks old we moved into our first apartment as a family (we moved from a house we shared with another military couple so the apartment was the first place where it was just "us"). It was a cute little thing with a super neighborly/friendly vibe. The woman across the courtyard from us was a single mom of a little girl that at the time was about the age that Emma is now, maybe a bit younger. Within a couple months of moving in we found ourselves spending a fair amount of time socializing with our neighbors, and it quickly became apparent that this single mom neighbor of ours held little control over her toddler.

Every time our single mom neighbor told her daughter it was time to go inside, her little girl would scream so loud we'd be able to hear it inside our apartment, over the TV. No joke. She used to kick and scream and throw herself on the ground, flailing all about. The first few times we bought our neighbor's excuse of "She has a temper because she's half black, half Latina." After a [short] while, though, her reasons started to sound more and more like excuses. Excuses she readily doled out without solicitation, an unmistakable sign that she knew the words dancing off her tongue and through her lips were what I affectionately refer to as bullshit --- delicately crafted lies designed to mask lazy parenting in a cloak of lighthearted quasi-serious half-truths like "Oh, she's such a handful these days" or "She's just tired" or --- my personal favorite (because you always know it's such bullshit) --- "I don't know why she's acting like this; she's never done this before!"

It wasn't only when she told her little one it was time to go inside; these excessive tantrums happened all the time for whatever reason; sometimes no reason at all. And the only time they stopped was when Mommy gave in. I don't recall ever seeing her "lay down the law", so to speak. I never saw her take control of the situation and show her daughter who was boss. Sometimes she'd give her a stern talking-to, but most of the time she appeared overwhelmed and lost in the sauce and ended up giving in to her daughter's demand(s).

Now before you go getting all bent out of shape because you think I'm attacking our former neighbor (*ahem* RJ *ahem*), let me say this: I know everything I said above is true because, ummm, hellloooo, I'm a parent and I've totally pulled the same shit before. Plenty of times. I know being a parent is hard; it isn't always comfortable and it's rarely ever convenient but it's also never boring and is perpetually rewarding. The point is: giving into the demands of our kids --- especially when they're young, teetering on that cusp between understanding and not --- is inevitable. But when is it acceptable to do? And why?

This is a tough question and every parent will feel differently about it, no doubt. But in my opinion, giving in to your child's tantrum-accompanied demands too often just perpetuates the cycle. At the same time, though, we can't be stone-cold statues of parental doctrine all the time. Can we? Nope, we can't. Not even me. Which brings me back to last night.

I sat down on the couch to try to get in some "mommy relax" time. You know, time to do whatever the hell I wanted --- like jump around the Internet and watch NOT children's programming on TV. It felt like maybe 5 minutes had passed when I looked up to see how long Emma had been crying for. It was more like half an hour. Ooops. She was still going pretty strong, and my original internal debate about how much longer Emma should be allowed to take milk to bed with her turned into a question of whether or not I should go back in her room because, well, let me tell you --- going back into her room after she's already been put to bed is a gamble; you've got a 50-50 shot that she'll go to sleep with no problem as long as you are there with her or she'll refuse to go back to sleep ever again.

Of course I ended up going back in. She was cuddled on top of her big stuffed bear, her head turned away from me. She didn't hear me come in and I didn't want to startle her so I gently placed my hand on her back as I calmly said her name. She rolled over and looked up at me with her big blue eyes, reddened by the gallons of tears she'd cried over the past 30 minutes. Her face was so sad, with her little eyebrows cinched together and her mouth wide open in the most heart-wrenching pout you've ever seen. She slowly rolled the rest of the way over from her belly to her back and reached her arms up toward me, crying "Mooommmmyyyy" . I leaned down, picked her up, and as she wrapped her arms and legs around the front of me I back over to Bri's bed.

We sat down together, me cuddled into Teddy (Bri's enormous teddy bear --- it's about 5 feet tall, maybe taller) and Emma cuddled into me. It took her a few minutes to calm all the way down and stop crying; I rubbed her back and sang to her as her crying stopped and her breathing steadied. As we sat there, her face burrowed into that spot between your cheek and the underneath of your chin and your neck --- that spot that we associate with comfort from a young age, in moments exactly like this --- I thought about how grateful I was for that moment alone with my little Emma Bemma.

Ever since Madden's been born Emma and I haven't been able to spend much time together since I'm usually tending to Madden. But last night, for whatever reason, I did what I never do and I went back into Emma's room after putting her down for bed...because she was crying. I'm usually the advocate in our family for letting her "cry it out" but for some reason last night was different. And I couldn't be more thankful.

I may not have spent the evening doing what I had originally wanted to do, and I may not have made it to bed at the time I had originally planned to be in bed by, but what I did get to do was spend 40 quiet minutes snuggling my favorite little Ginger as she snuggled me right back. Even after she had stopped crying I kept holding on and I sang to her quietly until she had calmed all the way down and then I whispered all of my love to her until there was no more light peeking through the curtains. And then I sat there with her some more.

The only time she moved at all was when she turned her head. And every time she turned her head so that she was facing me, she'd stretch out her neck and look to me for a kiss. After getting what she was looking for she'd lay her head on my chest and bury her face into that comfort spot, the one right underneath my chin, against my neck. Eventually she let go of me and brought her arms to the front of her body, folded them up, and tucked 'em between her chest and mine. We stayed like this for a long time, the entire time thoughts about what her life holds for her dancing through my head.

And in this moment I realized that I need to lighten up sometimes and remember that while yes, there are times when it's okay to send the "man up, little girl" message by not responding to her cries or giving in to her demands, there are also times when getting to watch my favorite TV show is not more important than cuddling my distressed toddler who is so clearly craving my love and attention.

As I get older I appreciate all the little tiny moments like these --- the split moments that capture and rewrite themselves millions of times each day and weave themselves into the larger moments through the motions of daily life and that will one day be looked back upon and labeled as "defining". Life is full of those little moments, some memorable and others not. And while cuddling my little Emma and thinking about what her life holds for her last night it dawned on me that the memories she will have of me are going to be the ones I make an effort to create. And I don't know about you but I want those memories to be cozy and warm, just like that spot between your neck and cheek where they're formed. I don't want her to grow up without enough of anything, especially love.

So from here I'm going to have to start reminding myself to not get caught up in things that don't matter, like making sure the all the laundry is perfectly folded and neatly put away before bed, but to remember to pause to appreciate the things that do matter instead. Things like taking 30 minutes out of my "me" time (even if that 30 minutes is all the "me" time I have for that night) and spend it loving the shit out of my kids.

 

Posted on 12 July 2012 at 21:06 in Emma, Life, Parenting | Permalink | Comments (0)

Reblog (0) | | | Pin It! |

madden james | 3 months later

Well, here it is, 10 July 2012. Madden is officially 3 months old today as he starts his 13th week of life and I've got to say, this last month did not seem to pass by as quickly as the first two did. In the past 4 weeks Madden has reached a handful of milestones and continues to grow every day --- both in terms of his physical size and his arsenal of baby accomplishments. He had his 3 month checkup earlier today and, as always, did stellar. After his scare last month we were relieved to hear that he's just fine. Here are his stats at 3 months old:

Height: 24.00" | 50th percentile

Weight: 15 lbs. 14.5 oz. | 92nd percentile

Head: 41.50 cm | 55th percentile

And here is the narrative of the past 4 weeks:

----------------------------------------------------------------------

9weeks

IMG_2993

This week Madden had his 2 month well-baby check up...and he did great. He was a little congested but nothing to worry about. A few pokes and prods and 3 shots later and we were out of the doctor's office. And then overnight he became really sick. He had a fever over 101 degrees and a nasty cough that made it hard for him to breathe. So hard, in fact, that he stopped doing it a couple times. Breathing, that is...he continued to cough. So I took him back to the doctor and then to the pediatric ER, but thankfully his symptoms essentially disappeared as quickly as they showed up --- overnight.

At his well-baby check-up, Madden was just over 2 feet tall (long?) and weighed just under 14 pounds. He is in the 90th percentile for height and weight, but only the 15th percentile for head size. Two things: 1) I hope that doesn't mean his brain is tiny and un-smart, and 2) those figures are a little surprising because his head doesn't look like a shrunken head as the figures might lead you to believe.

During his few days of under-the-weather-ness we kept Madden's routine the same (minus the going to daycare part) and he was pretty lethargic, sleeping for most of the day Monday through Wednesday of this week. As soon as the plague left his body, though, he was back to his chipper self.

He's really good at smiling and practices it a lot. His vision is improving, too, because he now responds to seeing people from further and further distances. He can only see a couple of feet away now, but hey --- it's further than before!

As always, I'll end this week by letting you know that I still haven't been peed on! Yay!

 

10weeks

IMG_3143

This week Madden's sleeping habits changed...but just a bit. He's still doing well with his schedule and sleeping for a good portion of the night, but during his naps he has a difficult time staying asleep through noise; like Emma crying or the TV. Gone are the days where we could set him in his reclining chair, put it on the table (so that Emma can't kill him), and just leave him be. Nope. At least he sleeps well [enough] at night.

Also gone are the days where Madden just sits there like a nonresponsive blob of cute, fat, teeny-tiny human. It seems like overnight his levels of alertness and responsiveness went into overdrive. Madden loves to smile and found his laughing voice this week --- and he does both often! Such a happy baby!

Madden is still doing well with his evening/bedtime routine, and, shocker, stills loves bath time. We've been bathing him around 8 or so for the past couple of weeks but half way through this week he started becoming super fussy in the evening, so one night I gave him a bath around 6:30 pm and he was asleep before 7:00 pm. The rest of the week he stuck to this new, earlier bedtime. He's already such a big boy --- this can't be another growth spurt already! Right?

In the way of eating, Madden is still a hungry little hippo (see comment above about how he's such a giant baby). He's been on a mix of breast milk and formula for a while now but this week he turned his nose up at the boob for the first time ever. At times he seems to prefer breast milk over formula (like when he's really fussy or super tired), but he will no longer take it from the boob --- only the bottle. I'm a little sad about this, but I guess I should've expected it. After all, he doesn't sleep in the bed anymore which means when he wakes up at night he gets a bottle, not the boob. It was only a matter of time until he began preferring the bottle. But at least he'll take a bottle. It makes it much easier for others to help *wink, wink, RJ*.

For the record: I still haven't been peed on!

 

1weeks

IMG_3232

This week Madden began turning his head toward the source of loud noise. He's not consistent with it yet, but it's a new skill he's starting to master. Yay for milestones! Speaking of noise, do you know what noise he seems to love and calms him down almost instantly? You'll never guess, I promise. Go on, try. Got it? Okay, here it is: country music. Ha! I told you that you wouldn't get it! His "teacher" at daycare sets the radio in the nursery to country music so I guess it's just what he's used to. I tried it out in the car one evening when he was really upset and sure enough, it worked! Weird, but whatever.

A couple of times this week Madden slept through the night. Most nights he only woke up once, maybe twice, before I got up for the day, and there was one night where he woke up almost every hour. Ugh. It is interesting to see the differences in sleep patterns between Briseis, Emma, and Madden. Madden is definitely the "easiest" baby so far, especially when it comes to bedtime!

Madden is still a super happy baby and I'm hoping that never stops! I can't say this with any certainty, but I feel like he's much happier than Emma and Briseis were as babies. Not to say that they were angry babies (because they weren't at all); it just seems like Madden is calmer, more independent, and more animated. But I didn't keep as detailed of a record of the girls' early days (sorry Briseis and Emma!) as I have with Madden's, so I can't say for sure.

Madden is still really good at smiling and laughing all the time, and he still loves being in the bath. I haven't taken as many bath time photos of him as I have with the girls --- mostly because RJ doesn't want him to be scarred for life when he realizes he was bathed in a PINK bathtub! Haha. To be fair, RJ threw in a Spiderman easter egg just to "man it up" a bit (his words).

Madden's vision is definitely beginning to sharpen because if you're playing with him and leave his sight for more than a split second he starts to freak out. It's super sad but also a little bit cute. He loves playing games, too. Games like laying him on his back and hovering over him while smiling really big and tickling his cheeks --- his smile is so big and his laugh is so squeaky and cute! Just don't suddenly leave his sight, or else he'll get pissed.

The record is still running strong: I haven't been peed on yet!

 

12weeks

IMG_3244

There haven't been many changes with Madden this week. He's still responding well to his evening routine, and still going to bed in between 6:30 pm and 7:00 pm most nights instead of the 8:30 pm that used to be the routine a few weeks back. I'm not sure if his internal clock just decided to reset itself, or if he's going through a growth spurt. 

It might be due to a growth spurt, though. This week we had to make an outing to Walmart (a store that I never recommend shopping at, except for kids clothes because they're super cheap and cute) to re-supply Madden's wardrobe. He's barely 3 months old and already 3-6 month clothing is beginning to look a bit snug on him. Okay, maybe that's a bit of a stretch but I think he'll be in 6-9 month clothing well before he's 6 months old. I've said it a billion times: he's a big boy!

Up until this point Madden has been a pretty independent baby, meaning he's been pretty chill with just hanging out on his own. This week, though, he started wanting more cuddle time --- and who am I to deny him of his wishes?! Madden still isn't a fan of sudden movement, though, so picking him up or changing positions while holding him have to be done slowly.

Bath time is still a simple process. Some nights he gets bored with it quicker than others. I always try my best to gauge it and take him out before the warm water stops being warm and he remembers that he's hungry but sometimes he starts freaking out in the bath out of nowhere. Most nights it's a go, though.

Mr. Madden is still super happy most of the time (except when he's hungry or tired, or when he's moved too fast) and he loves playing games. His new favorite game to play is for you to lay him down on his back, lean over and position your hands so that he grips your pointer fingers, pull him up to sitting so that his face is right in front of yours, then let him [gently] fall back down. He LOVES this game and laughs and laughs when you play it with him. He also loves when Emma gives him kisses on his face and tummy.

By the end of this week Madden was consistently turning his head toward loud noises. He's especially good at turning his head toward you when you say his name; when he hears my voice or RJ's voice he gets a big ol' smile on his cute baby face and starts feverishly kicking his legs in and out. And speaking of his head, Madden's head control has vastly improved since Day 1. Duh, I know. But in the last couple of weeks his growth and progress have been amazing.

Madden is able to control his head well enough now that I can prop him up on my hip with one hand and walk around with him. When he has tummy time he's able to prop himself up on his forearms and keep his head up. He kicks his legs so much he ends up scooting his knees up underneath him, and we wonder if he's going to be crawling early?! The doctor assured us today, though, that it is NOT an indication of if he'll crawl early...or at all. What a party pooper.

Hmmm...what else? The only other new(ish) things this week are 1) Madden not really digging his car seat (especially when you put him in it right when you pick him from daycare; he's usually pissed that he gets jipped on snuggle time when you leave him all day then lock him in a car seat right away), and 2) he is constantly moving --- his limbs are always flailing about and he never keeps his head still, always checkin' out his surroundings.

And if you guessed that I haven't been peed on yet then you'd be...right! 3 months going strong with not being sprayed in the face yet. Yay! Let's see if we can keep this record for another 4 weeks!

Posted on 10 July 2012 at 22:07 in Madden | Permalink | Comments (0)

Reblog (0) | | | Pin It! |

I know I say sleeping is for lazy people, so please try not to judge me when I tell you I spent all day sleeping.

So today is Monday, which means it's most likely your favorite day of the week because, uhhh, Mondays are rad. Right? Remember how Monday is the day of the week when everyone is in a good mood and babies never cry and every single thing happens according to plan? No? Really? I didn't, either. But don't you worry because today, well, today life decided to subtly and pleasantly remind me just how awesome Monday is. Here's how my morning started:

I woke up at 5:20(ish) am, which is, oh, about, like, ummm. TWO AND A HALF HOURS LATE! Yeah, yeah. You think I'm crazy for getting up so early (usually). That's fine. I think you're lazy for not. Ha! Just kidding! Maybe. I know my normal wake-up time is crazy early but if I don't workout before the rest of the world is up then it usually doesn't get done. And if I don't workout I'll eat your face for breakfast. Not because bath salts are my new thing, but because not working out turns me into a raging bitch that can't be held responsible for her own dopamine-derived actions. Besides, I like waking up early and having the entire day ahead of me.

Continue reading "I know I say sleeping is for lazy people, so please try not to judge me when I tell you I spent all day sleeping." »

Posted on 09 July 2012 at 21:54 | Permalink | Comments (0)

Reblog (0) | | | Pin It! |

when I grow up I want to be a ______

In today's economy you're lucky to have a job. And if you have a job that pays well (enough) without also having a degree, well then, my dear friend, you're even luckier. And since both of those things apply to me I'm not entirely sure why I'm complaining (or whatever), but I am.

I've been employed by the same company and in the same position for 18 months now, and in the beginning I used to love coming to work. I thought my boss was amusing, entertaining even. And the work seemed interesting, maybe even important. Now, though, my boss and his thousand-a-day "back when I was..." stories are annoying and the work seems so worthless that half the time I have to force myself to do it. And even then it takes about a week to do something I could do in a couple of hours. Why? Because I can't stay motivated; I no longer find my job interesting. Or enjoyable. 

I know I should be grateful that I have this job --- any job, really. But recently I can't get past it. Ever since returning from "maternity leave", every morning when I step foot inside my office building a wave of discontent and irritation and dread swells up inside of me and I end up slumped in my chair, staring at my computer screen; agitated, never on taks, unable to focus, and completely disinterested. When the fuck did this happen? You know, the whole "I hate my job" thing?

I don't know. Maybe it happened months ago, or a year ago. Or just last week. No matter. The fact is: I'm unhappy and it is beginning to affect my performance, my mood, my relationships. I don't feel challenged by my work anymore, nor do I find it interesting. Or necessary. And that, folks, means it's time to move on.

Continue reading "when I grow up I want to be a ______" »

Posted on 02 July 2012 at 19:45 in Kelsey, Life | Permalink | Comments (0)

Reblog (0) | | | Pin It! |

Rewind »
  •